Korea, the land of possibilities.....

An nyoung ha seh yo,

I stepped my foot on the land of Korea, on the 5th August 2010. All these while, I've been like crazing for going overseas. Not sure what is the crazyness about, new places, new experiences et cetera. However, as I'm in the plane, I was like, hmm, yes, it's a fun trip, but what's the crazyness about actually? I'm not sure.

I say so because, okay, I reached there and so? Hmm, maybe I still haven found a good reason for it.

The purpose of this trip was to attend ASEAN-Korea Frontier Forum, aka AKFF. Reached there around morning in Incheon Airport where the volunteers met us there.

Ah.. less words, more pictures & captions. Let's get it on!

 

The volunteers who greeted us as we reached

All of them were very friendly, don't ever ask me to list down their names, their names are more complicated than chinese names! hahaha.



Wow? Rays
This shot was just at the right place, right time. Everything was right.


  

The arches you see, inside is a tunnel road.
Above are some examples of houses present


 

Konkuk University

Konkuk University, the place where 70% of my time is when I'm in Korea.

It's in Seoul! I stayed there, makan there, everything there. It's a 6 star rating from me. Everything inside was perfect.

Psst- they have room service for your hostel!!!



Roomie...



This was my room, 206 if not mistaken. The chair was superb comfortable, twin-sharing basis, attached bathroom, room service every 2 days, towels provided, everything was in tact!

The air cond was power saving, because after 9am, you basically can't on it. They control it from somewhere. Door light which turns on/off by itself when you reach. Very nice!



Apa ini? The gate to accomodation block



Touch and go. You have a room card (similar to hotels) touch it and zeeeezzzt, the gate opens, and go!

The first day nothing much, we were taken for an orientation and divided into 2 groups, country group and mixed group. Then we went orientation and at night games.

Country group consisted of 5persons, but ours was 6. Special eh?

Malaysia Group, 3 Malaysians, 3 Koreans (girls) *twink twink*

This was my other group where we do 'Friendship' stuffs

In this session, what you see is domino (not the pizza.. wahahahahaha!), we have to use that and create something related to AKFF.

What I designed... Not bad? however, others were all not bad too! (you know to compete with the other brilliants', awww.. hard!)

First night in Korea, what you will do? Of course wander around right? We didn't able to get the permission to go 'out of campus', so we did it on campus! Bought quite a number of stuffs, biscuits etc.

Instant noodles, biscuits, yogurt drinks, makan-makan lah!

I'm not going to talk much, just highlights of what I did there. Basically, we went there and were asked to do a research paper for the topic globalization. 
The highlight was? Highlight was of course cultural experiences. We went to the GyeongBokGung Palace, whereby we see traditional buildings etc.

Kesian (pity) them, stand there whole day

Don't ask me why I did so. ^^

Don't ask me why they did so. ^^

Typical building shot. slanting towards the sky.

Ah.. My rest area in my garden. 'MY GARDEN'

Street view

This is a very beautiful place. It's a place where Art enthusiasts meet. Everything in there were 'ART'.

See how 'ART' it was.

This is what chinese say 'People mountain people sea', the crowd never ends. It's busy the whole time.

Errr... Halley, I was just taking pictures with them. Hehe ^^

Halley, just another picture... Hehe ^^
*notice the few people at the back, they are observing!*

Ern, I'd complain, I think too much pictures isn't it? Hehe. 
We went to don't know what river, which was very dirty last time and they'd transformed it into a tourist attraction area.

OMG, I LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!!

Nanta, don't miss them when they come over to Malaysia.

Can I praise the photographer for this shot? Oh Kok Soon, you're a great photographer. Haha!

Enough of playing, back to serious matter, from the research paper, we have to present it in front of those professors etc. 1 person present, 2 person answer questions. Myself as the question answerer. Hehe.

The smiling president. Oh my my. This was a fake shot. Haha

Wahaha, My dream place. I meant, I love all these kind of streets with neon lights and people. Love it!

What I watch in TV, where people is sitting at the road side vomiting, a guy consoling a girl who is drunk, girls walking around looking drunk, guys walking around doing the drunken fist walking, and all. I usually see this on TV, perhaps I think Malaysia don't have those (Maybe there's but I don't see it because I don't go clubbing), Hehe.

I saw all those live in Korea street. A new experience for me. 

ooooo.... sorry, no tripod and time available for a better shot.

Hostel fridges

Malaysian culture vs. Korean culture.

What Malaysians always do is they hope for the better but don't actually cherish it. Yes, Malaysians can have this and that, but, it'll be gone if there're no protection of it.

Above is the example of fridge for hostel rooms in Konkuk Uni. Each compartment is labeled with room numbers. No locks, no stealing.

Can Malaysians do this? It's near impossible. If we have this, the fridge will either be vandalized or stealing will happen. If so, why do Malaysians complaint and complaint? It's because we don't see the reason why the thing is not there.

Wow! Innovative petrol station, save space. Pull down to refill.

Shabu-shabu lover... Pure beef.

Spot me!

In samsung D'light. 

Love this!

Omg. hahaha, Wrong post with the wrong suit

Goodbye Korea!

Food?

Korean food, the main dish is rice. Everything is rice. Note that, breakfast, they eat rice too. Kimchi is the second accompaniment. It's a MUST have dish.

Beef? Not so much, because it's expensive there.

Pork? Yes, a lot, a substitute for beef.

Lamb? Not eaten one yet.

Chicken? Yes.

Fish? Not so much.

Ooooo.. A very very long post. It's okay, I'll stop here, for more pictures, visit my Facebook albums below

Album 1

Album 2

Album 3

Roger and out!

Tribute to him....

I see.. since June eh?? hahaha...

I'm writing this because basically I'm too free on holiday now. Too free and yet doing unnecessary stuffs and I forced myself to do something good.

I love blogging, just too lazy.

To my grandpa,
I've been told by my dad about how you survive a living during the hard times. You worked so hard in your bread factory to put meals on the table for us. You've to wake up early in the morning just to deliver bread to the hospital and everywhere. Dad told me, during the down turns of the business where you have to break the wooden fence of the house and use it to bake breads. I was like.. OMG? breaking the house fence for wood and to bake bread? I'm not sure how serious was it but when I heard, I know you'd worked hard.

No matter how small or big the contribution is, whatever is it, as long as it comes from the heart.

the moment of darkness (part 2)

awww.. part 2 continues....

28th May 2010, Gloomy day,


 Thursday morning...

I didn't sleep well the night before as I slept at around 2 or 3am. Woke up as usual to attend my 9am class.


On the KTM as I took out Reader's Digest from my bag. I realized how I love to read successful stories of other people. Successful as in helping out those in need and not career point of view.

A few months ago, I've read about a guy from Vietnam if not mistaken. He studied a hospitality programme and realized that orphan children were everywhere in the country.
He made a difference. He open up a restaurant and started to teach these kids on how to cook. They provide free labor, in return of free accommodation as well as food. (Since they have no food and accommodation as before). Smart guy, yet having humanitarian sense.


Today, I've read about a tourist who went to Venice. He saw a beggar at the road side. There were a lot of tourist groups who passes through the busy town, busy looking at how beautiful the place was. However, they did not notice the beggar. What he did was, every time a group passes by, he will buzz in front of them and put some money for the beggar. One person from the group starts to give money too. And, successfully, the whole group followed.
This guy did the same thing over and over again for the sake of a beggar. Aww.. How sweet and kind this guy was.... 
He too made a difference.

I admire both of them because they had made a difference. How do I make a difference?
Making a difference is part of the "Finding Myself" thought in me.
How do I make a difference so that I become successful? I don't know what I want to do and I regret things I've done before. Never mind bout it already. I'm a useless junk, I thought to myself.

My emotions were as steady, just like the gloomy morning that day. Just care-free and I thought I've overcame my darkness moment yesterday.

But, as I flipped through the magazine. This article pops up in my eye. "Finding Myself"

"I was overcome with the urge to sit in a corner and weep. I barely managed to reach our flat before bursting into tears........"

"And all the while a little voice in my mind kept telling me how worthless, hopeless and stupid I was........"

~Reena Deen~

This article explains to me why am I having the darkness moment in me yesterday. I was "DEPRESSED". I'm having depression in short.


What Reena wrote was what exactly I was going through. You start to look deeper in yourself in finding who you really are.

This was very hard to accept. I sat down in the bus at the corner and tears are flowing down my eyes. I've to talk to somebody. I wanted to called somebody I admire a lot, my lecturer. I think she was the only who I can talk to right now. 
Took out my phone, planning on what to say, my emotions multiplied. I couldn't afford to talk also.
I've decided to sms.

"Good morning Miss. Kok Soon here. I would like to ask if you're free later in the afternoon? Can I make an appointment to meet you? I need somebody to talk to."

Very quickly, she replied, "Sure, I'll be free after 3pm."

Oh god, I hope I can settle my problem as soon as possible.


Basically, I tried to control my tears  from KTM station to the college. I've managed to control until when I stepped out of the bus.
Met my friends, and I couldn't bother bout the problem anymore. I believe my friends are aware of me, I also couldn't speak much to them about my problem because I cannot put my nightmares into words as then.


Continued my whole day normally until 3pm.
I bumped to her office 3pm sharp. I was waiting so anxiously for this moment. Somebody to talk to.


Managed to control my tears as I spoke to her and 1 hour was short. I wanted more.

Good news is that, she managed to counsel me. She told me that I think too much, and there's no need to regret what I've done.
Then she mentioned about god.

"Which really relieved me. "

"God had somehow made you choose this path and go through this moment for you to realize."

Ah... That settle my problem. I believe, god did this to me for me to realize something, which may not be visible now, maybe in the future.

Thank you miss, you've cleared all my doubts.
I'm absolutely fine right now.....

My life after this incident is more meaningful now, (at least I think, haha). Thank you god... Sorry for me to have forgotten you for a moment or so.

....... ~In you, we trust~.........

the moment of darkness (part 1)

I've encountered so much of darkness moments. Just as my mood, emotions begin to subside, the tsunami wave is here again. There're no chance I can control this disaster.

It was 27th May 2010.... 12.15am.

First, the boring wave came to me. Then, the sleeping wave, then the can't sleep wave, the thinking wave, the self-thought wave, the regret wave, the useless wave, and finally the disaster wave.

Boringness brought me to sleeping mode.
However, I couldn't sleep. I felt about down after thinking about my so called "Future".
My thinking was after the incident of finding out a course which I think I like. BROADCASTING. Next to it was EVENT MANAGEMENT, MASS COMMUNICATION, HOSPITALITY.

Then, another thought came in,

"Am I merely enjoying my life now? Enjoying to the max without realizing that I'm wasting quite a lot of time. I spent a lot, I've done a lot, I've not been in my house for quite some time".

I'm a "Pai ka chai?" I thought to myself.
(It means, some useless child of a family in Cantonese)

YES... I'm a PKC, I've always done things that I like without realizing it was quite a waste of time and money.

It's all in me, that need to be spitted out by me. But to whom?
I've searched my contact list in the phone for some possible people who I can contact. I seriously would like to call anyone and spill everything out and cry over it.

My list of people was, A, A, J, W, Y, ... and a few more.
Don't worry if your initials are not above. I've taken consideration of what time you sleep, phone operator and I filtered everything I can think of before I really contacted the person.
You can be my very best friends that I'm too afraid to disturb you. Don't worry-lah!

Finally, I've sent out sms-es hoping for a reply. But I didn't get a reply, it was as expected, cause how do I expect people to reply? It was 12.35am man!....

What's next?
Finding of Oneself begun.
I went to the store room, dug out books that I've read before. I don't have much passion books, but I still have a few of my favorites, comics!
Be it talking bout Malaysians (text or picture-based) or other miscellaneous comics.

Then, I dug up some of my hand-written notes during my Secondary 5 period (the year of success and hard work). I've discovered how well I was in taking notes, how unique was my handwriting, and other related matters.

Next, I took out my SPM treasures, SPM exam questions I meant.
I read all the papers (11 in total) and noticed how I still remember the wonderful days back then.
I can still remember how to answer most of them. I can feel, how well I've done in SPM, how great I was before, until then, now, I'm a PKC.

If I were still in Petronas studying, I'm a great man ahead, I'm someone with bright future etc. (Not to say that I don't have a bright future now, just that, you know, in Petronas you can at least instantly say that you have bright future, but in what I'm doing now, you still need to mmmm, really bright future? Sure? "Kind of thing".)

After the SPM craze, I dug out assignments that I've done before in school time. I still keep them until now.
Most of them are near to full marks. Wow, what I've done? Nice.


1.05am


I'm not asleep yet. I dug my cupboard again to check my stamp collections all these while, then I dug up movie tickets that I've collected since I watched movies in cinemas.
Looking at everyone of the tickets and remembering the movie from before. Some had strong memories in me, but some doesn't.

Ahhh... There were a lot more useless things I've done on that night until 2.30am. Only I slept, mind you, 9am class the next day.

of the white coffee in me....

I'm telling you a "White Coffee story in Me..." Yes, it's me.

The white coffee in me is very simple, as tasty, as milky, as aromatic, as "kao" (kao, means very concentrated in Cantonese), as everything as it is, nothing more nothing less.

Lack of even 1 drop of milk or else, everything is gone. All must be in a PERFECT amount.

That's me actually. I realized, I'm a very fussy person.

When my mom cooked lunch for me today (western breakfast style), I've ask my mom,

"How come it's toast?"

"Why you put my hot drink in a big mug?"

There were a bunch more of things I wanted to comment but I didn't because I realized, I was too fussy and I kept the questions to myself.

I thought to myself in the heart instead. These were the few,

"Why didn't you cook sunny side up instead of scrambled?"

"Why you put soy sauce on the egg?"

"I want my white coffee in a small cup with a table spoon, not teaspoon."

"And why did you add Anlene milk powder in it?" 

So until then, I realized I was a very very.. very very... very fussy person. (Internally, I didn't mean I'm fussy in general, I know my limits. Therefore, I'm not a fussy person, but internally fussy).

~~the White Coffee in Me... ~

 

 

Are decision so easy to be made??

Hmmm.. Today a rush of my hormones came again. I'm down again for another time.. Ai yo yo yo...

What is life for? You have to die at one moment also. Sad case.

Yesterday, I'm up till like 2.30am. I accompanied him for a valuable moment which ended up both of us accompanying each other.. Haha...

He's sad and frustrated and angry and mixed feelings... He's worried that his job prospect next time wouldn't be as good as predicted. Basically... We both entertained each other...  He's still okay, because he's not in any specific area yet then. However, today I start to worry for mine...

Hmm... I'm currently doing Diploma in Hotel Management.
My dad asked "You have a direction now?"
My answer was "Of cause not..." (Why do I answer so? Because I think it's not easy for me to make a life decision)

Decisions are easy. Whether you buy or you don't, you say or you don't.
But when it comes to life decision. I suppose, today only I realised it's very hard.

Do I really like hotel management? Hmmm.. I can say I like, but, do I really like? I do not know. How can someone be so certain of his/her feelings at times? You may think that you like.... but when you think deeply, do you really?

Humans are animals which can think.
When they think a lot, they go berzerk...

Hotel management? Not so much. Actually I want to become a movie producer or a director.. Or those newscasters.. Or become motivators.. But.. how do I get there? There's no such courses for it right? Am I right? (or I'm so outdated that I do not know?)

At times... I really think, why don't I just die now and *poof...* all problem ends? Easy as that right..

I'm a thinker that is so complicated. So complicated that I understand people's feelings and how they think. In the meantime, I do not know how my thinking works..

I'm seriously very confused the moment right now. Not confuse on things. On matters of other things, I'm very clear.. But on matters of myself. I do not get hold of it. I do not know who I am actually. Not even 1% of me.

Things become more complicated....

I actually shuts down whenever I've a problem. Like for this morning, my dad was like telling me, you have a talented mind and opportunity to study, but you do not want. People who wants to study, do not have the opportunity....
I was like... I've so many things to say but I just shuts down... I kept quiet. I didn't know I've this habit until today. I actually keep everything inside but I managed it well.. Until these few days.

I shuts down completely because I think my parents do not listen to me. Communication wise.. They do not practise real effective communication..

They do not know how stress I'm, regarding this hotel management as in concerned. Not stress as in studies, but stress listening to people saying that I'm so smart that I shouldn't take this.
They do not know how many times I cried over this. They do not know how many times I've gone to my fren and told them about it. They do not know what to do with me. I know I should get a proffesional job. But I also want to think. I'm not from a rich family. Still okay, how if I studied and I wasted off their hard earned money? So I just took a course which is cheap or rather when somebody gives me a scholarship.

I'm actually on my very own feet. My parents are so used to not guiding me because they know I can. Until then when I needed their guide, they do not know I needed them to deliver.

Haiz.. I do not know what to do with myself.

When shutting down moments.. Another problem arises... Girlfriends. I would think that, how nice to have a girlfriend who will listen to me. Haha.. But so far for now is friends la.. Friends are my life supporting system now. Thank you..
Towards friends, I'm an extrovert. Towards the person I love, I'm introvert. Because I always feel that I'm not compatible with this and this. Waste of time thinking.....

My life is entangled at the middle. With hopes and risks..

Something here to share too. It's another story of a person. Click here... It's quite beautiful reading this.

Regrets of my LIFe....

Hie everyone.. Sorry for not updating for so long... It's been a busy semester for me...

It's a surprise you know when, you think that you got out of a situation and you feel great. "WOw, I'm over about it. I'm not getting back to it and I'll sure not regret!".

Until a certain point where memories refreshed. Things come. Be it from any source. It suddenly flashes through your mind. This make you think.

You think and you think. Finally you think that you are not regret at all, but, you actually regretted.

Haiz... Maybe it's I think too much. I really do think too much. Too much until above the level of acceptance.

Kudos, Ice Kacang Puppy Love. You made up my mind.

Right at the moment I'm watching this movie, things are coming up to me. I've been living in a life full of acting. Do I act?

I do not know. Seriously I do not know.

These few days, my mom stated "You wasted, why don't become a doctor?"
My dad stated to his friends "I cannot brainwash him, what should I do?"

I'm sorry mom & dad. I do not have the strength to do all these. Maybe I had but I gave it up easily. I just gave up like that.

I'm too selfish about my future. I think to myself only. I always think that money is not important. But is money that important?

Aikz. I've no confidence to continue this post anymore. My heart is broken more than ever. If I continue, I'm afraid I'll jump out of the building.

Can I ask why is this happening to me?

pe la ni...

sedihnya... apa ni.. mmg pun nak nangis dah..
kejap kata u tak nak hubungan. pas tu, u kata dgn i. ok la i terima la..
pas tu. tak berapa lama kemudian, u kata dah berpunya.
walau eh...
tanya dan tanya, patut la u kena rasa yg i ni sedih.
u endah tak endah. cepatnya u tukar topic tu.
i cakap i sedih u tanya kenapa. wah...
u mmg bagus.. i tak pernah tengok orang serupa cam tu sebelum ini...
air mata bergelinang. bergelora. ntah la. tsunami ke pe.